Two World's Collide
by jadec0804
Summary: Dimitri left Rose for Tasha over three years ago. Now with the Moroi world changing and Strigoi becoming more dangerous, they will meet up again. Sparks will fly and tragedy will strike but will they be able to find each other once again?
1. Chapter 1

**I began this story over two years ago but lost interest in it. I decided that I wanted to continue it but am going to start again. For those who have encouraged me to do this, thanks. It is because of you that I have the confidence to do this again.**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Vampire Academy, would I really need to write fanfics? Just saying :P The wonderful Richelle Mead owns everything except the plot. That's all mine.**

"Lissa, Christian move!" I ducked as the Strigoi we were fighting threw Eddie away. He hit the brick wall of the alley we were in and slid down. I saw him slump at the bottom of the wall, unconscious. Well I hoped he was unconscious, just thinking about anything else caused white terror to course through me.

Turning towards the Strigoi, I saw that he was moving towards where Lissa and Christian were standing. That was his second mistake, his first being going after Eddie rather than me.

Moving swiftly I tried a surprise attack while the Strigoi's attention was focused on the two Moroi. But with his sensitive hearing he heard me coming up behind him and turned to deflect my oncoming punch. Before I was able to get in another move the Strigoi was rolling on the ground shrieking in pain. The reason being his head was encased in fire.

I didn't hesitate before pulling out my stake and ramming it into his heart, making sure not to remove it until the Strigoi lay unmoving. I heard a gasp behind me and turned just in time to see Christian collapse. It takes a lot out of a Moroi to use magic, and to use the amount of power that Christian had used would leave him weak for a few days.

Before checking on both Eddie and Christian, to make sure they were okay, I looked around to make sure that no other Strigoi were lurking around the corner.

We had been coming back from one of Lissa's late lectures when the Strigoi attacked. I had been on edge since the first roll of nausea had hit me, so the first attack hadn't been a surprise. Eddie and I were able to quickly take him down without any serious injuries. The second Strigoi had come up behind Eddie as I was removing my stake from the dead Strigoi on the ground.

The nausea that I felt around the strigoi was gone but after being surprised once tonight I wasn't about to let my guard down. Deciding that it was safe I made my way over to see if Lissa and Christian were alright. _They come first_. As I was walking over I pulled out my phone and dialled.

"Sydney speaking"

"Hey Sydney, it's Rose."

"Where are you and how many?" _Well this makes it easy ._I liked that I had such a badass reputation. It made my job easier when working with the other guardians. I relayed the details and hung up after it was confirmed that someone would be over soon to clean up. After I had graduated I had found out about the alchemists, people

who help to get rid of dead Strigoi and keep the world of the Moroi a secret from the humans. They were also notorious for their hatred of us, thinking us evil creatures of the dead. Sydney was one of them; she had also surprisingly become a good friend.

Eddie's groaning pulled my attentions away from my musings and I rushed over to him. Seeing that he was coming around I tried to get his attention.

"Eddie, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and felt a wave of calm wash over me. Lissa was trying to calm me down and move me out of the way. Under any other circumstances I would never have thought of moving, but I wanted to get back to the house as quickly as possible, especially if there were anymore Strigoi lurking around.

I felt a feeling of unbelievable happiness come over me and I knew Lissa was using her abilities that Spirit gave her to heal Eddie. Through the bond that we share I was able to feel Lissa's emotions and thoughts. The magic only took a few minutes to work but that feeling was enough to make me wish that it would never go away.

...

We managed to get home without any more trouble, though it took longer than I was comfortable with. Eddie had been healed but he was still weak and needed help walking. I didn't relax until we were past the wards that the queen had put around the house for extra protection.

The house was dark as we walked in. Lissa went to switch on the light but someone beat her to it making me automatically go back into guardian mode. It seemed my guardian skills were getting a workout today. The feeling of nausea hadn't returned so I knew it wasn't Strigoi waiting for us, but that didn't mean that it couldn't be something else just as dangerous.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Alberta was standing in the middle of our lounge room. She was the person who had flicked on the light.

"Hey! Alberta, sorry. Rough night." I walked over and gave her a quick hug. After the attack on the academy a few years ago, Alberta and I had become close. Having recently been reassigned she was now working for the queen.

With a look of understanding on her face, her eyes swept over everyone. She turned back to me.

"How many were there?" I didn't have to ask what she meant.

"Two. The second was a surprise." She gave a brisk nod and moved to sit back down.

"Well this makes things simpler." She looked towards Lissa, "Princess, the Queen has requested you visit the Court. She has some things to discuss with you."

"What kinds of things?" Lissa asked instantly suspicious.

"I am sorry Princess, but I do not know. However, due to today's events both Rose and Eddie will be able to accompany you to Court, as will Christian." She stood from her place on the chair and moved towards the door. She looked towards me and gave me another nod. I understood that it meant that we would have to talk tomorrow about what happened today, something that I was fine with. Right now I had to prepare to go to the Royal Court, the one place I tried to avoid as much as possible.

Both Eddie and Christian looked unhappy at the upcoming trip but Lissa looked resigned. I could feel through our bond that she had mixed feelings about going, the dominant one being confusion and apprehension about what the queen wanted to talk to her about. Excitement over seeing some of the friends she had there, and worry over what I would think about having to go to Court were a close second. The latter was what really caught my attention.

"Hey Liss, it's alright. Do you want help packing?"

She studied me for a few moments before deciding that I was being sincere, which I was. The worry vanished replaced by eagerness. She really wanted to go now that she knew I wasn't going to say anything.

"Thanks for the offer Rose, but you need to pack too. Christian will help me." She grabbed Christian's arm and dragged him up to their room to pack. I couldn't help but laugh at Christian's face. He really didn't want to go tomorrow; he disliked Court almost as much as I did. Eddie still seemed to be having some trouble so I went over to him and helped him up the stairs. I could see in his face that he was going to say something and I had a feeling I knew what it was.

"Don't even say it Eddie. It wasn't your fault. The second Strigoi surprised us both and that is exactly what I will tell everyone. So don't apologise."

At that moment we reached his room, so I left him at his door before he could give a retort. I then became lost in my thoughts of the following days as I walked to my room.

I wasn't in the mood to pack so I grabbed all my clothes and put them in a bag with a few other things, then took a quick shower before climbing into bed. I was tired, especially after having to fight the two Strigoi, but I couldn't seem to fall asleep. My head was too full of questions. What were the Strigoi after? Why were there two? Was it simply a random attack? I suspected that there was more to what happened to today, but I was too tired to work it out. What did the queen want to discuss with Lissa? In my mind I was able to come up with many different scenarios, each worse than the one before.

This continued throughout the night until I felt Lissa's connection through our bond, sending me calming feelings and I was able to go to sleep.

...

The next morning was hectic with last minute packing and I could feel a headache forming. By the time we reached the airport we were already running late. We had our own private plane so once we were on board it was just a matter of minutes before we took off. Once in the air, I had to concentrate on keeping my headache at bay and keeping my barriers up so that the ghosts wouldn't decide to give me a visit.

Part of the bond that I had with Lissa meant that I was shadowkissed. Lissa had healed me in the same way that she healed Eddie yesterday, the only exception being that I was already dead. Lissa had brought me back to life, literally. A few years ago I had learnt that a part of being shadowkissed meant that while I was outside the wards I was able to see ghosts. Actual ghosts, as in people who had died and were hanging around for some reason only known to them. The barrier in my mind that I put up stopped them from showing when I didn't want any sudden visitors.

I was relieved when we finally landed. I could feel the energy change when we passed through the Court's wards and my headache suddenly disappeared. Grateful for the release of pain, I just wanted to find the gym. A good, long workout was exactly what I needed to get rid of all my excess energy- that the flight and my mixed feelings about returning here- had caused within me.

After seeing that Lissa and Christian made it to their room alright, I went and put my bags in my room. I quickly got changed and started making my way over to the gym. On the way I noticed that there were more people around then usual both Moroi and guardians alike. I shrugged it off as nothing important and started moving at a faster pace towards the gym.

After I was assigned to Lissa, I got used to travelling, searching for other Spirit users that she could learn from. I was used to finding my own methods to train and to keep in shape. A lot of the places we went to didn't have gyms, so when I walked through the doors of this one I was speechless. I had been here before but it looked like a major upgrade had taken place.

It was huge. There was a running track, sparring mats, practice dummies, gym machines, and an assorted set of practice weapons all in the one room. Feeling excited, I didn't know where to start.

I had just finished my laps and had begun my stretches when I heard someone enter through a side door. I was too caught up with what I was doing to take much notice. Getting up, I headed towards where the weapons were laid out only to see that someone was already there. Rather than disturb them I changed directions and went to the machines.

"Rose?"

Upon hearing my name I froze. I knew that voice. Even if it had been three years since I had last heard it. I turned slowly to face the person who had called my name, hoping that I was wrong.

I wasn't.

There he was in all his glory. The love of my life. The man who had picked another woman over me.

Dimitri.

**Please, please, please review. I would love to know everyone's opinions on this story so I know whether I should keep going in the direction I had originally planned or to start again completely. So please leave a comment and let me know. Thanks **


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Vampire Academy. The characters all belong to Richelle Mead.**

_Flashback- 3 years earlier_

_I was late. Again. I didn't know if training was on but I went to the gym anyway. I had a feeling that he would be there._

_I found him sitting, leaning against the wall reading one of his western novels. I still didn't know why he was always so interested in them. He heard me come in and looked up._

"_No training today."_

_I nodded, I figured he would say that but I decided it had been worth a shot._

"_Well ok then. I will be going now." I didn't want to be around him. To have him judge me for what happened or to praise me on the kills. It wasn't something to be proud of. I knew that now._

"_Rose, I need to talk to you." I should have known he would want to talk to me, but right now I wasn't in the mood. I felt someone place a hand on my shoulder. He was there, moving so quickly and quietly that I hadn't heard him come up behind me._

"_Not right now, Comrade." I went to walk off again but he pulled me back to him._

"_Yes Rose, now," I saw him take a deep breath. When he looked at me he had his guardian mask firmly in place. No emotion showed on his face. "Rose, I'm leaving."_

_I stared at him. I couldn't have heard him right because he wouldn't leave. He wouldn't leave me, not after everything that had happened._

"_Rose? Did you hear me? I said I'm leaving."_

_My mind didn't seem to be working. I couldn't think of anything to say except-_

"_Why?"_

_He seemed to take a few more deep breaths before taking a few steps away from me. _

"_I accepted Tasha's offer. What happened with Mason was-"_

"_It was my fault." I interrupted him before he could say anything. He was leaving, that was all that mattered. I didn't need to hear his opinions on Mason. I just wanted to leave._

_When I looked up at him, I could see his mask was gone. Sadness and guilt were displayed on his face._

"_It wasn't your fault. You made some bad choices, that's true, but so did he. You can't blame yourself for what happened."_

"_He came back for me. It was what you always warned me about. He let his feelings for me come before his job and he died for it." I was crying now, "I led him on, tried to make myself have feelings for him. But I couldn't."_

_I felt his arms go around pulling me tight into his chest. My head was tucked under his chin and he was stroking my hair. I don't know how long we stood like that but it was with regret that I pulled away. He let me go but still stood close to me._

_For a moment I had forgotten what he had told me. He was leaving and I had to know when._

"_When are you leaving?"_

_I saw surprise flash through his eyes, probably because I wasn't yelling at him, before he answered._

"_Tonight."_

_I knew why he was leaving of course. Tasha's offer was a good one, something that not many guardians would refuse, but I knew that wasn't the reason he was leaving. What happened with Mason was one of Dimitri's worst fears; the fear that he would let his feelings for me come before his duty to protect. It was the reason why he had pushed me away so many times and now it was the reason he was leaving._

_Knowing why he was leaving didn't make it any less painful, it only made it harder. I didn't want him to go but I didn't have anything left inside me to fight him. He moved closer again and cupped my face._

"_Roza, I have to go. My feelings- I can't do my duty when all I want to do is protect you."_

_He had never been so candid about his feelings for me before. Sure, I knew that he cared a lot for me and I knew that I loved him, but I hadn't known that he returned that love. Knowing that he loved me but was still leaving made me angry. But still, I didn't say anything. Instead I leaned forward and kissed him._

_My actions surprised him but after a few seconds I felt him respond. I knew we shouldn't be doing this but I was beyond caring. All I wanted was to try and prove to Dimitri why he couldn't leave. Why he couldn't leave me._

_The kiss started out slow but, like all our kisses, it grew more passionate. I tried to put all my emotions into the kiss. Anger. Love. Lust. Pain. Need. He returned the kiss with all the same emotions plus more. I was becoming more frantic with every second, I needed him. He couldn't leave._

_He was the one to pull away. He was always the first to pull away. I tried pulling him back in, needing him closer, but he grabbed my shoulders and held me at arm's length, both trying to get our breathing back under control._

"_Rose. Rose, stop!" I stopped trying to get out of his grip and sagged in defeat._

"_Please. Don't go." I was crying again. I tried making the tears stop. I tried to appear strong. Taking another deep breath I looked him straight in the eye._

"_Don't go. I need you."_

_I could see indecision on his face. He was warring with himself, with his love for me and his sense of duty. I knew what would win out but I desperately hoped that for once I was wrong about him._

"_Rose, I'm doing this for you. I'm sorry but I am leaving." His sense of duty had won out._

_I nodded once and turned away from him. I was crying again but I didn't care. There was nothing left to say to him so I started walking out. Pausing at the door I turned to see him still standing where I had left him. I could see both pain and regret on his face but I knew he wouldn't change his mind._

"_Goodbye Dimitri."_

"_Goodbye Roza" He said it so quietly I don't think he meant for me to hear. I didn't respond and just kept walking leaving a part of my heart with him._

**So it seems that my decision to re-write this story has angered some people but as the saying goes 'haters gonna hate'. If even just one person wants to read this story and would like me to continue then I will. So just let me know and review **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Again I do not own anything.**

**Here is another one for you. Enjoy!**

**Lissa POV**

Rose had only been gone for five minutes before someone started knocking. Opening the door I saw the Queen's adviser standing there.

"Sorry to bother you, Princess, but the Queen requests your attendance in the main hall immediately."

Without getting a chance to go and talk to Christian, I was led out of the guest area and over to the main hall. It was odd that the queen would want to speak with me here; she usually conducted her meetings in the smaller chamber. Walking through the large ornate doors I realized why the meeting was here.

The room was packed. A large group of Moroi stood in the centre and each wall was lined with guardians. _What could be so serious that she needs to talk to me about it?_

"Princess Dragomir, thank you for arriving so quickly."

The group in the middle seemed to part for me, allowing me to move to the front of the room where the Queen was seated. I nodded to the guards before turning to face her.

I was nervous, not knowing what this meeting was about. Rose knew that and had tried to convince me I had nothing to worry about, but the nerves were still there. For a brief moment I thought about asking Rose to be here with me, so she could watch what was happening through our bond but decided against it. She was at the gym and after a day like yesterday I knew she needed a good long workout to clear her head.

"Vasilisa, I hope that you are doing well." Never one for small talk she continued on before I could reply, "The attack that happened yesterday was very unfortunate. I gather you have heard of the rise in the number of Strigoi attacks lately."

I hadn't but I wasn't surprised. My guardian was Rose, I knew she sometimes withheld information, believing that it would protect me and save me from pain. I couldn't be angry but I was going to talk to her about it later. I couldn't let anyone know that I had no idea what the Queen was talking about. That would display weakness, something that I couldn't do especially in a room full of political sharks.

"Yes, Your Majesty, I have."

"Good. So you understand the need for more security, don't you? As per your request we have let Guardian Hathaway be your only guardian but under current circumstances you are going to have to relent to a change. Yesterday's events help to see that my decision was the right one."

My nervousness was increasing with every word the Queen spoke. Something was going to happen but I couldn't begin to think what.

"The guardians are going to be re-assigned. It seems the Strigoi are going after only royals now so we need to prioritise our guardians by importance. You being the last of the Dragomir line will be assigned two of the best guardians, Guardian Hathaway and Guardian Belikov."

Hearing that Rose would still be my guardian, the tension that had been growing inside me was suddenly released. Smiling widely, I looked again to the Queen.

"When will these rearrangements take place?"

She looked surprised at my question.

"You aren't going to fight this. Miss Hathaway is a very capable guardian but you need more experienced guardians protecting you. The Strigoi will target you as we saw yesterday and she is a liability to you when it comes to her experience."

I was confused listening to her talk about Rose but it suddenly dawned on me what she meant.

"Wait, when you say Guardian Hathaway, you mean Rose don't you?"

"No, Vasilisa, Guardian _Jeanine_ Hathaway. I thought I had made that clear. As I was saying, Miss Hathaway is a good guardian so she will be re-assigned to work at an academy where she will be able to gain more experience-"

"Experience? Don't you remember what experience she has already gained? She was the youngest novice to kill a Strigoi and she killed two. She was the one who made the most kills when the Academy was attacked and she was the one who came up with the rescue plan to get back those who were kidnapped, all before she graduated. And everything she has done since? Inexperience is not a word that someone should say about Rose."

By the end of my rant my voice had risen shrilly. She couldn't take Rose away from me. She was my guardian and we had a bond, one that could never be broken.

" Vasilisa! How dare you raise your voice at me? I will not be spoken to like that. Do you understand?"

I lowered my voice but didn't change my tone when I spoke.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but Rose cannot be re-assigned. I will accept Guardian Belikov as another guardian but Rose will still be with me."

The darkness had risen in me again and Rose wasn't around to take it out of me. It was making me act out of character and say things more upfront then I would usually. Without even meaning to I was using compulsion. I realised what was happening but I couldn't bring myself to stop, if using compulsion meant that Rose would still be my guardian than I was willing to do it.

She looked dazed and began nodding her head in agreement. I knew though that it wouldn't work that easily. It wasn't long before she was able to snap out of it.

"No. Miss Hathaway will be re-assigned. You will have Guardian Belikov and Janine Hathaway protecting you and that is final. You will be able to leave tomorrow."

The darkness had reared its ugly head and now it was inside me I couldn't control what I was doing. This time when I used compulsion, I used my full ability. Every Moroi is able to use compulsion but not a lot know how as it is seen as being taboo, I had always had a sort of super compulsion, another aspect that came with having Spirit.

"Please everyone leave." If I was going to use compulsion on the Queen I wasn't going to have any witnesses who could catch me.

It seemed to work. I could hear shuffling of footsteps heading towards the door and when I looked up the room was empty except for a few guardians. The queen had an incredulous look on her face. Rising from her comfy chair she stalked towards me.

"How dare you command _my_ people? You are nothing but a stupid little girl. I am the Queen and you will do as I say."

She was now standing right before me and when I spoke next; I looked her straight in the eye.

"I will accept that Guardian Belikov will be my guardian but Rose will not be leaving. I refuse to let you take her away from me."

I made sure that I didn't tell her what to do. I didn't want to have to make her agree with me if I could avoid it. In the back of my mind I noted that I seemed to be channelling Rose without meaning to.

The Queen stood there glaring at me but I could see some doubt in her eyes. She knew that I would fight this and at the moment she didn't have the time to if what she said was true about the attacks.

With a sigh she finally relented.

"I will allow you to keep the young Miss Hathaway as your guardian but only for a trial period. You will also have Guardian Belikov for added protection but I can assure you, I will be receiving reports from Belikov about Hathaway's guardian abilities and her behaviour. If she steps out of line once, there will be no second chances and she will be re-assigned. Is that clear?"

I nodded. Rose was still my guardian and that was all that mattered.

"You may go." Being dismissed, I turned and walked out of the room. I kept walking until I was a fair distance away before allowing myself to calm down.

With my head finally clear I was able to see what I had almost done. I had almost taken away someone's will to get what I wanted. I was horrified with myself and I felt tears spring to my eyes. I needed to find Rose and talk to her.

Getting up from the wall that I was leaning against, I made my way over to the gym as quickly as possible.

Walking in the door I could see her standing there. I didn't bother to look around, thinking that she was alone. I called out to her.

"Rose. I need your help. You will not believe what I just did."

It was at that moment that I saw someone else in the room and I froze. The tension between the two was incredible and I realised that I had just walked in on something.

Taking a closer look to see who the other person was, I couldn't believe it. It was Guardian Belikov.

...

Rose POV

Seeing Dimitri standing there in front of me after three years wasn't something that I was prepared for. I stood there gaping at him with my mouth open.

"Rose?"

I tried to think of something to say but the Rose Hathaway attitude had gone, along with my ability to speak.

Seeing him again, all of my memories of us together came back. The first time we met when he had captured us; our training sessions; the night of the lust charm; on the roof at the ski lodge; and finally that day- the day he had left.

With that memory also came the anger and bitterness. All the other memories disappeared. I could only focus on the last time I had seen him. He had torn part of my heart out then and seeing him again, I could feel that barely healed hole tear open again.

"Guardian Belikov," I replied with a nod. My voice was flat, trying with all my might not to let any emotion show through. That was actually a trick I had learnt from Dimitri. It gave me a dark kind of satisfaction knowing I was using his skill against him.

For a second I could have sworn that I saw a mixture of hurt and guilt in his eyes but I must have been mistaken because when I tried to take a closer look all I could see was his guardian mask.

It was then that I took a good look at him. I had never been able to forget that he was seven years my senior but I had never noticed as much as I did now. He looked older but it suited him. His shoulder length hair had been cut to just below his ears. The guardian life had weathered his face but he still looked as gorgeous as ever. With a start I realised that I was staring and quickly looked away.

I was saved by Lissa barging into the gym.

"Rose. I need your help. You will not believe what I just did."

I had been so focused on seeing Dimitri again that I hadn't felt Lissa's emotions through the bond. But now it all came rushing at me all at once. She was guilty and horrified at herself and I could feel that darkness in her again. I tried to get in her head to see what had happened but she was blocking me. Instead I reached in and took the darkness from her. The problem with that was now that darkness was in me.

"What happened?" I realised it was me who had spoken but I couldn't recognise my voice in the growl that came out.

Lissa wasn't looking at me however; she was already hurriedly trying to leave the room fearing she had interrupted something important. She stopped though when Dimitri addressed her.

"Princess, am I right to assume that you have spoken to the Queen?"

She didn't say anything only nodded. I tried to see what she was thinking but she was still blocking me.

"You do not have to tell her. It's my duty, I will do it."

Lissa turned slowly to face Dimitri. I was burning with curiosity to know what they were talking about and it took all of my control not to interrupt what seemed to be a crucial conversation between them.

"There has been a change." She looked me right in the eye when she spoke next, still continuing to block me from her mind. "The Queen has decided that I need two guardians for protection because of the Strigoi attacks, which by the way, I didn't know about and had to pretend that I did so as not to look stupid. Why didn't you tell me about them?"

She was losing control of the block and her emotions were flowing through the bond into me again. Hurt and anger were reaching me. She was hurt over the fact that I would keep something from her and anger over the lies she had to tell to cover it up. Lissa hated to lie, she was horrible at it. Her good nature always made her do the right thing and tell the truth.

"I wasn't hiding it, I just hadn't found the right time to tell you. I had only been informed the day before our own attack." I said, trying to ease her pain. I wasn't lying, I had only found out all the details that day but I had had my suspicions earlier, something I wasn't about to tell Lissa about.

Before I could say anything more Dimitri spoke again.

"Princess, please don't get distracted."

I had forgotten that there was something important that she had to tell me. I had been too caught up in trying to settle her emotions to think about anything else.

"Lissa, tell me what is going on." I demanded, only just holding myself back from stamping my foot like a five year old. This wasn't the time for me to start acting immature. The darkness in me wanted a target and if Lissa didn't hurry up, she would become that target.

"The Queen had assigned me two new guardians." She had looked away by the time she was finished talking and was staring at her shoes.

"What? She can't do that. Who is going to take my place? Where will I go?" I would have kept firing off questions if it hadn't been for Dimitri.

"Rose," he said sharply, glaring at me, "Let her continue." Turning back to Lissa he asked, "What do you mean you _had_ been assigned two guardians?"

That shut me up. Had? That had to mean something right?

"I- I convinced her to let me keep Rose as my guardian instead of having Janine."

"Wait, they were going to replace me with my _mother_?" My voice was back to that growl again and I could tell that Lissa was worried I would do something rash but I didn't care. Just the thought of my mum replacing me filled me with so much rage that I just wanted to punch something.

"Rose, wait. I convinced her not to. You are still my guardian." She was hiding something from me but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Dimitri had been quiet throughout my outburst but now he spoke.

"If Rose is still going to be your guardian, who is the other one going to be?"

With a quick glance at me, she turned back to answer him.

"You will be my other guardian, Guardian Belikov."

That was all I could take. Before I could hear anything else, I bolted out of the room running as fast as I could.

**So this chapter was originally only meant to be Lissa's POV but I was feeling generous so I joined the next chapter as well. The result being an extra long chapter for you guys to enjoy, please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters they belong to Richelle Mead.**

**My first time writing in a guy's POV so I hope I pulled it off!**

Dimitri POV

It was warm, rare for this time of year. I was heading to the gym to workout needing time to think after the news that I had been told.

"Guardian Belikov?"

I heard my name and spun around. Alberta was standing there with an amused look on her face.

"Nice of you to come back to us," seeing the confused look on my face she continued, "I have been calling out your name for the last five minutes."

With a start I realised that I had reached the gym already. I hadn't been paying much attention to my surroundings which, if I continued, would get me killed. Distraction made for an easy target.

"Sorry Guardian Petrov, I was a little distracted."

She nodded with a look of understanding on her face.

"I'm sure you will need to get used to the idea of having the Princess as your charge again. Honestly all these extra Strigoi attacks are unnerving. These guardian swaps aren't helping much are they?"

I agreed completely with her but didn't voice my opinion, simply nodding my head in agreement.

"The Princess has arrived with Rose. I believe that the Queen plans to inform her as soon as possible about the change. After yesterday's attack I'm sure she wouldn't like to wait, although Rose did a good job of taking down those Strigoi, especially considering Guardian Castille's injuries."

That snapped me back to reality. I hadn't heard of any new attacks, especially not one on the last remaining Dragomir. But if they went after Lissa then that meant that...

"What happened to Rose? Is she hurt?" I was frantic in my questioning but I had to know. If she had gotten hurt I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I wasn't proud of it but I had fallen in love with Rose back when she had been my student. Leaving was the hardest thing that I had ever had to do but I still stand by that decision if it meant that Rose was happy.

Even three years on just hearing that Rose had been attacked was enough to make me frantic. I was willing to go and find the Strigoi who had hurt her and kill them myself. Alberta must have seen the anger in my eyes and quickly tried to calm me down.

"Rose is fine. She was able to take down the two Strigoi fairly easily. I don't know all the details yet, but I will be taking statements tomorrow after the Molnija ceremony for those guardians who were attacked."

I nodded, not capable of speaking at the moment. She took my nod as thanks and went to turn around.

"Wait, one more thing. I hope this isn't asking a lot but when Rose finds out about her change in charge I want you to be there. You were her mentor and I remember you were the only one she would listen to. Though she has changed an awful lot since graduation that aspect of her hasn't changed I don't think."

I understood what she meant immediately. Rose had been extremely mature for a seventeen year old but she had been stubborn. It was that stubbornness that might cause problems when it came time for Rose to leave Lissa.

Alberta left and I walked into the gym. Someone was already running laps so without interrupting them I moved over to where I knew the weapons were. I needed to calm down and the best way that I knew how was to take out my anger on some dummies.

Behind me, I could hear the person running laps slow down and began to move over to where I was. Tensing I stayed facing the wall not wanting to be interrupted. The last thing I needed was to have to make small talk with another guardian.

Hearing them change directions when they saw me I curiously turned my head to see who it was. Not many people would do that. What I saw made me freeze, mind going blank. My stomach seemed to flip and I felt my mouth go dry.

Rose.

I couldn't stop staring at her. A surge of animalistic lust came over me but was quickly washed away by the guilt, the guilt that had never left.

She was stunning, even more beautiful than the last time I had seen her three years ago. I watched her make her way over to the machines. I had so much that I wanted to say to her, to tell her how much I love her and how sorry I was that I left. But I didn't say anything and just settled on watching her.

It wasn't long before my self-control disappeared and I had to say something, but I didn't know what. So instead I asked the obvious.

"Rose?"

She turned and looked at me not saying a word. It was unnerving but neither of us seemed to be able to move. She appeared to be in shock, staring at me with her mouth agape. I had the sudden urge to move forward and touch her, to close her mouth and run my hands through her long hair. I controlled myself and used all of my will power to put that famous guardian mask on.

While she may have been staring at me in shock I was staring at her for a very different reason. I was drinking her in, fighting the voice in my head that seemed to be getting louder and louder to pull her into my arms and hold her tight.

Her eyes filled with anger and bitterness the longer she stood there and I watched as she put her guard up. Subconsciously I realised that I had done the same thing.

"Guardian Belikov" she replied with a nod. There was no emotion in her voice at all. It was like a slap in the face.

Guardian Belikov. I never knew two words to cause so much pain. I was no longer Comrade to her; no longer a friend; no longer someone that she loved. I had become just an acquaintance, someone who required nothing more than a nod of greeting.

I saw a spark of curiosity in her eyes, something that no other person would have been able to notice, and I knew that she had seen the pain that those words had caused me. It was, again, with all my effort that I put my emotionless mask back in place.

It was quiet then. We just stood there and looked at each other. At the moment I couldn't have left for anything. After three years without seeing her and not knowing how long it would be until I saw her again I just looked.

She was older now, no longer the seventeen year old girl who I had known, but a woman. She had grown more beautiful with age and was now so stunning that I couldn't look away. Her hair that I loved so much, was even longer and was so dark a brown that it was almost black. She was wearing her usual training clothes that allowed me to see all her curves and left little to the imagination. I was ashamed with what I was doing but I couldn't take my eyes off her.

I felt like I was back to that same day when I had told her I was leaving. I couldn't leave but knew that I had too. With the last of my will power I opened my mouth ready to say something when I heard someone making their way quickly into the gym.

"Rose. I need your help. You will not believe what I just did."

It was Lissa. She was my charge now but it seemed that I couldn't drag my eyes away from Rose. The very reason that I had left her, the fear that Rose would become more important to me than doing my duty had passed. It was impossible for me to leave Rose now that I had seen her again. That last bit of will power that I had gathered to leave had shattered.

Still watching her, I could see the moment when something in her changed. Darkness. She had taken the darkness out of Rose. It was something that we had discussed before I had left but I hadn't known it was possible until now. Obviously a lot more than I thought had changed.

"What happened?"

If I hadn't been watching her and seen her speak I wouldn't have known that it was Rose who had spoken. Somehow it was impossible for a growl like that to come out of someone so beautiful.

I was finally able to drag my eyes away from Rose only to see Lissa trying to leave. If she left it would just be Rose and I alone again and I was too much of a coward to let that happen; too scared of what I would do. Instead I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Princess, am I right to assume that you have spoken to the Queen?"

She didn't say anything only nodded, still facing the door. I was curious as to what Rose was doing but now that I had looked away from her I couldn't bring myself to look back at her.

"You do not have to tell her. It's my duty, I will do it." Though the words were true, I was still dreading having to go through with it.

She finally turned to look at me and I could see determination in her eyes, she wanted to be the one to tell Rose. I was secretly relieved, knowing that I didn't have to be the one that would hurt her all over again. Instantly trying to push that thought away I tried to change Lissa's mind. Neither of the girls- women- deserved that.

Before I could get a chance to say anything Lissa turned to Rose.

"There has been a change," she said, "The Queen has decided that I need two guardians for protection because of the Strigoi attacks, which by the way, I didn't know about and had to pretend I did so as not to look stupid. Why didn't you tell me about them?"

"I wasn't hiding it, I just hadn't found the right time to tell you. I had only been informed the day before our own attack," Rose spoke up. I could tell she wasn't lying but she wasn't telling the whole truth. I was curious to know what she was thinking but I ignored the urge to ask, instead I focused my attention back on the princess.

She was getting distracted and I tried to get her back on the right track.

"Princess, please don't get distracted."

I was watching Lissa, waiting for her to continue when I heard Rose speak again.

"Lissa, tell me what is going on." I had to force back a smile before anyone noticed but with those words Rose was suddenly the girl I knew, wanting to know as much information as possible now.

"The Queen had assigned me two new guardians." And there it was, I could see every emotion that Rose was feeling. They were written all over her face.

"What? She can't do that. Who is going to take my place? Where will I go?"

"Rose," I shot her a look to get her to stop talking, "Let her continue." To my surprise she did. I didn't think about it for too long because something that Lissa had said was going through my mind.

I turned back to Lissa, questions running through my head. I picked the most important one to ask.

"What do you mean you _had _been assigned two guardians?" I had to know what that meant.

She seemed to hesitate before answering.

"I- I convinced her to let me keep Rose as my guardian instead of having Janine."

I could tell that she wasn't being entirely truthful and that something had happened. Guardian training setting in I was ready to start questioning her to find out the whole truth but Rose interrupted again.

"Wait, they were going to replace me with my _mother_?" The growl was back and I moved forward to try and calm her down but Lissa beat me to it. It hurt again to know that I wasn't needed anymore but I couldn't leave until I found out what was going on.

"Rose, wait. I convinced her not to. You are still my guardian." Again I could sense that she wasn't telling the whole truth and by the look on Rose's face she could sense it too. But something more important was on my mind.

"If Rose is still going to be your guardian, who is the other one going to be?"

Somehow I already knew the answer but I needed to hear it out loud. I needed someone to confirm my suspicions.

With a quick glance at Rose, she turned back to me.

"You will be my other guardian, Guardian Belikov."

No.

**Phew. How was it? Nice and long? I hope it turned out alright. It was hard for me to get in a guy's head and write but I did my best. So please review and let me know what you thought. I would like a lot of feedback for this chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

I kept running, not knowing where I was going. _You will be my other guardian_. Those six words kept going through my head.

Back in school, having Dimitri as Lissa's other guardian had been the most important thing to me. It had been a way for me to spend time with him- the only way. I had spent months after he left trying to decipher the reason for him leaving. I had honestly believed that he had loved me but obviously they were just the wishful thoughts of a teenage girl.

Now it was just as hard trying to wrap my thoughts around having him as my guarding partner again. After months of pining for him- pining for something that was obviously never real for him-I had decided to move on with my life. And I had. I had graduated top of my class and had been guarding Lissa ever since, following her and protecting her in every way possible. I had done it alone and done a damn fine job at it too.

My resent and loneliness that had been pushed aside for the past three years seemed to rear back up, feelings that I had kept hidden from everyone- even myself. I had no right to feel resentful towards Lissa. It was an honour to be her guardian.

Being a guardian is a birthright in a sense. With the resilience and endurance of humans and the enhanced senses of the Moroi, Dhampirs made the perfect bodyguards. Loneliness was just a part of the job. We couldn't afford to be distracted. Distraction made for an easy target. Dimitri had at least taught me that.

I had been running with no destination in mind but had arrived at my room. Alberta was standing at my door, just about to knock as I came up behind her. I pushed all my feelings aside. I didn't want Alberta to pick up that something was wrong.

"Hey Alberta. What's up?"

She gave me a knowing look even as she replied.

"Have you heard the news?"

I wasn't able to speak without showing how confused I was so I simply nodded. But even without me speaking she seemed to know how I was feeling or she thought she knew.

"Do not worry Rose, Guardian Belikov is one of the best. He has to be to have been your mentor."

She was trying to make me feel better but had succeeded in only making me feel worse. She seemed to realize that she had said the wrong thing and quickly tried to change the subject.

"I'm sorry to bother you but I need to get your report on the attacks yesterday."

It was then that I realised we were still standing outside my door. Opening it, I invited Alberta in. She walked in and took a seat on one of the cushiony armchairs. I followed and sat opposite on the couch.

"So what do you want to know?" I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. After every attack or fight with Strigoi a report had to be written up, which meant that the guardians involved had to continuously relive the event until everyone was happy that they had every single detail. It was just another part of the job description, one that I hated.

Alberta, being a guardian herself, knew how horrible it was to have to continually think about something you would rather forget and tried to make it easier on me with her questions.

"First, I just need a recap of the events. Take your time, it's hard I know." She sat back with the file open and pen ready to write everything I said down. By remaining quiet, she left me to gather my thoughts.

With everything that had happened since we had arrived at the Courts, I hadn't had much time to think about the attack. I thought back to how Lissa had wanted to stay at school for a late lecture. Living out in the human world meant we were following their schedule rather than the typical Moroi one. So by the time the lecture was finished the sun had well and truly set and the dark had settled in.

As soon as I had set foot outside I had felt the nausea that always overcame me when Strigoi were near. I remember growing instantly tense ready for any kind of trouble. Eddie had noticed my change in mood and tried to get Lissa and Christian moving faster.

We had tried to take the most crowded route back to the house because the Strigoi were less likely to attack with witnesses present but a few blocks away from the house we cut through a short alleyway. That had been a mistake on our part but we were ready for it. It had been the second Strigoi that had taken us by surprise.

As I recounted all the details of that night to Alberta, I began to feel a sense of relief knowing that this session was almost over. She took note of everything that I said but when I got to the part about the second Strigoi she paused.

"They planned the attack then. The first one was meant to take one of you down, the second surprising whoever was left. There's no other explanation."

I thought about what she had said and I was able to see the truth in it.

"But if the attack was planned then that means that the Strigoi really are working together." That realisation dawned on me; it was what my brain had been too tired to figure out the night before.

It was something that had been discussed but had never been proven. Because of what the Strigoi are they're unable to work together, always turning against one another for power or food. If what Alberta was saying was true then something in them had changed. The Strigoi were gaining order within their ranks, something that could be catastrophic to the world of Moroi.

We were both silent, both thinking of the repercussions of what we were saying. It was then that I realised something else.

"The Queen knows about this, doesn't she? That's why we are having all these guardian changes?"

Alberta stayed silent for a few moments before answering.

"She suspects that something is going on. Many of the guardians suspect the same thing. I do believe that this is the Queen's reasoning behind all these guardian re-assignments and I am sorry about how this is going to affect you."

I looked towards her in surprise wandering what she meant but then it hit me. I wasn't supposed to be Lissa's guardian anymore. Obviously the news hadn't gotten around yet. Before I could say anything though, Alberta continued talking.

"Even with both Guardian Hathaway and Guardian Belikov I don't think that the Princess would ever be as safe as she is with you. You have the bond and I feel that just your friendship would be enough to keep her safe. But when the Queen has decided something it is impossible to change her mind."

_Impossible to change her mind_. Compulsion. Lissa had used compulsion on the Queen. That was what she had been trying to hide from me; what she couldn't admit in front of Dimitri. If anyone found out it wouldn't matter that she was a royal or that she was the last Dragomir. She would be thrown in jail for treason- or worse.

Alberta had noticed the change in me and I blurted out the first thing that I could think of so that she wouldn't know the real reason behind my suddenly frantic state.

"Why were Dimitri and my mother chosen to protect Lissa? Why does the Queen feel they can protect her better than I could?"

She didn't look surprised at my question but more resigned. The question had burst out in panic but now I was curious for the answer. Why did the Queen believe them to be better than me?

"It wasn't the Queen's decision. Your mother asked for you to be re-assigned and for her to take your place."

I froze. That wasn't the answer I was expecting. I had been expecting an answer more along the lines of the Queen hating me and using the first opportunity she had to get rid of me. That might still have been true; I wouldn't have been surprised in the least. But to know that my own _mother_ was the one trying to separate me and Lissa was just too much.

"She asked what?" I was standing now, trying my hardest not to start yelling at Alberta. It wasn't her fault, she was just the messenger. How did that saying go, don't shoot the messenger?

"Rose, calm down. Her intentions were good even if she did somewhat go about it the wrong way."

"Her intentions? What could she have been _intending_ to do by sending me away?"

She hesitated. That slight hesitation was what caught my attention. Alberta never hesitated. Not even when she was delivering news. She told it as it was without sugar-coating it. But now she was hesitating.

"The Strigoi aren't just banding together... they are sending threats."

"Threats against Lissa? Is that why she tried separating us? She didn't think I was good enough to protect Lissa?"

"No Rose, sit down." Even as she was telling me to sit down she got up and began pacing the length of the room, "I was not supposed to tell you this but I can see that I have no choice in the matter. The threats weren't made against Lissa, they were made against you."

That stopped me.

"What?"

"Somehow the news of your bond with the princess has reached the Strigoi and now you are their number one target. I can't tell you why but so far we have kept this quiet. If it got around that one of our guardians was the main target, there would be an all out panic. We cannot allow that to happen so this is something you will have to keep to yourself. When you arrive at the academy you will be working at keeping a low profile. It is the safest place for you to be."

The academy? I had no idea what she was talking about but I had to tell her that I was still going to be Lissa's guardian no matter how much danger I was in.

"Alberta, I am still Lissa's guardian. I'm not going anywhere."

It was her turn to be surprised.

"What do you mean? I was talking to Guardian Belikov earlier and he confirmed it. You were going to be a guardian at the academy and he was going to be Lissa's guardian."

"Guardian Belikov is going to be Lissa's guardian but my mother won't be. I am and that isn't going to change."

**Ok, reviews would be nice guys **


	6. Chapter 6

**Many thanks to all those who have reviewed and who have added this story to their favourites, it means a lot.**

Alberta left shortly after I had told her my decision to stay with Lissa no matter the danger. Before leaving she had turned to me.

"Tomorrow a Molnija ceremony is taking place and all guardians are attending. You will need to receive your two new tattoos."

I simply nodded. A guardian received a molnija mark on the back of their neck for every Strigoi that they killed. I already had nine, seven since graduation and two for the Strigoi I killed while back in school. I also had an extra one that showed that I fought in a battle, this one being the attack on the academy back when I had been attending. When I was younger, I would see the guardians with their tattoos and wish that I could have some. I had thought they were so cool, proof of how good you were as a guardian but in reality it was just a reminder that you had taken a life. It didn't matter that they were Strigoi, before they were turned they were human, Moroi or even Dhampirs. I had to believe that by killing the Strigoi I was releasing a soul from an eternity of pointless killing, something too horrible to think about.

My thoughts turned to the upcoming ceremony. It would be a long one as so many guardians needed their marks. So many attacks had taken place recently that it was a wonder they were risking having every guardian there. My mood turned even worse when I thought of the attacks. To know that they were coming after me didn't faze me as long as I was around long enough to keep Lissa safe. Anything after that was meaningless.

_But what about Dimitri?_ A voice in my head spoke up. _Don't you want to keep him safe too?_

I did. Even with the anger and bitterness I still held towards him- I still loved him. A part of me always would. But with his return, the problem we had before hadn't gone away. Dimitri and I were now, once again, both Lissa's guardians and that meant she came first. My feelings had to be pushed aside.

I felt like I was a senior back at the academy when Dimitri had been my teacher and mentor. I had had to push aside my feelings then, even though I wasn't always successful. This time it had to be different. We weren't at school anymore; we wouldn't have the help of other guardians if we were to be attacked in the open.

As much as I hated it, I resolved myself to having only a purely professional relationship with him. Not even the friendship we once had could be rekindled. It was impossible to only be friends with him. I had to have all of him or nothing.

...

The next morning I woke up and got ready for the ceremony in the traditional clothes of guardians- a white blouse with a black jacket and a pair of black slacks- my heart heavy with the decisions I had made. I would be seeing Dimitri today at the ceremony and I didn't know if I would be able to keep my resolve.

The ceremony was to take place in a large hall. The same one, I later found out, that Lissa had had her meeting with the Queen in. The Queen would be present for part of the ceremony- as would my mother.

As I walked through the door my eyes automatically slid over to where Dimitri was talking to Alberta. He stood tall but I could see how much he would rather be somewhere else. He shared the same view as me on the Strigoi; it was one of the many things that had connected us. He must have sensed my eyes on him because he looked up, straight into my eyes.

He made to move towards me but with a slight shake of my head I turned around and walked over to the other side of the room where Eddie was standing. My resolve had wavered as soon as I had set eyes on him and would most likely disappear completely as soon as he tried talking to me.

Pushing him out of my mind yet again I looked at Eddie. I hadn't seen him since we had arrived at the Court. I felt horrible- having been so caught up in my own world I had forgotten to see how he was holding up. He was the one who was injured after all. But before I could ask him we were interrupted by my mother.

She had moved up behind me while I had been focused on Eddie. I needed to work on not getting as easily distracted as I had been lately. That could only lead to trouble.

"Rose." She nodded at me. I was ready to reply with something sarcastic, lashing out against her decision to try and take me away from Lissa but as I opened my mouth ready to say something I felt a presence behind me.

My mother looked over my shoulder at the new comer and again nodded her greeting.

"Guardian Belikov"

The witty remark that I had been ready to say disappeared instantly. I didn't want to turn and see him standing behind me but I didn't have the self control to stop myself. I turned around and found myself almost nose to nose with him; well it was more like nose to chest. Time seemed to stand still as we gazed at each other. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds that we were standing like that before he took a step backwards but it was long enough for me to see the hurt and guilt in his eyes. For a moment I thought I had also seen regret but pushed that thought aside. I couldn't think about that or risk hoping that it was true. If he regretted leaving then that meant that he still had feelings for me. That was something that the bitterness still residing in me quickly denied.

I turned back around to my mother to find she was gone, much to my relief. Dimitri and my mother were too much for me to handle at once. It was at that moment that Alberta walked out onto the small stage that had been constructed at the front of the room. Behind her was a small man carrying a metal tray. He would be the tattooist for the day.

The already sombre tone in the room grew more solemn as the other guardians turned their full attention to Alberta.

"You all know why we are here, so I don't need to make a big speech about it, however today will proceed differently than usual. We don't wish to draw this day out anymore than we have to so as I call your name please come forward to receive your mark then we can move on. After the last person, food and drink will be served in the adjoining room and you will be able to talk to other guardians."

That was how the day went on. The first to receive their marks were those who had fewer to get. Dimitri was standing beside me and it seemed that every fibre of my being was straining out towards him. My hands were clenched into fists on either side of me so as not to reach out and touch him. I wouldn't even let myself glance at him for fear of losing my control.

"Rose-Marie Hathaway. Two marks"

I made my way up to the front and sat on the chair that had been placed there. Tilting my head forward I let my hair fall away from my neck and prepared myself for the sharp pain of the needle. Receiving the marks was a painful process and I sat there with my eyes closed trying my best not to flinch away from the needle. When my neck was bandaged and I had received instructions on how to care for the tattoos, I made my way back to Dimitri without having made any conscious decision to do so.

Again I stood beside him as we continued to watch other guardians receive their marks. When it was my mother's turn to receive her marks I looked away. I had yet to look at my mother without anger boiling up inside me. Our relationship had always been rocky and after I had graduated we had grown even more distant but I still couldn't believe what she had done, even if her intentions were good.

The time that it took for each guardian to receive their marks grew longer as each new person received more.

"Dimitri Belikov."

He made his way to the chair and sat down. He was the last guardian to receive his marks and would be getting three tattoos. Obviously protecting Tasha had been more trouble than he had anticipated. I instantly banished the thought. Dimitri wouldn't have seen it as trouble but simply as him doing what he had been trained to do.

I watched as he received his marks. He was sitting how we all did, muscles tensed and head bent forward looking at the ground. I could tell that he was trying just as hard as I did not to flinch. When he was finished he stood but didn't make his way back down off the stage instead Alberta stepped forward and stood next to him. They had everyone's attention immediately.

"I know that it has been a long day and I am sorry to have to make it longer but I feel it necessary for me to mention the re-assignments that have been taking place. The Queen feels that with all these recent attacks more protection is needed for the Moroi."

She conveniently left out the fact that the added protection she was talking about was only for the royal Moroi.

"It is also my job to inform you that tests will be conducted for newly partnered guardians to make sure you are capable to work together. Every precaution necessary is in place as we now have proof that the Strigoi are working together and planning their attacks."

While there was no sound in the room after Alberta's announcement, the tension in the room seemed to increase tenfold. This time it was Dimitri who stepped forward to speak.

"I know you can all see how serious this news is and how important these tests will be. We need to have every confidence in you that you can handle anything."

That was all he said but with those words he was able to make it sink in that things were changing and that we had to accept it and be prepared for it. It was with that that everyone started moving into the room with the food, someone still yet to speak. Instead of heading through the door with the other guardians I walked out the front door and outside.

I knew that he was following me but did nothing to stop it. We had to speak and let each other know where we stood. I stopped once I had reached the steps outside and sat down on the top stair. Dimitri sat down beside me his long legs stretched out in front.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes neither knowing what to say first. It was me who broke the silence.

"I can do this, working together I mean, if everything is professional. No talk of the past or anything. Lissa needs to be my first concern, especially now." I was relieved that I was able speak without my voice breaking. I turned my head to look at him only to see that he was busy studying me.

He didn't say anything but I could tell that he was taking what I had told him seriously. Finally he spoke but it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"I know I hurt you when I left-"

"Dimitri, don't."

I didn't want to hear about him leaving or why he did it. I just wanted him to agree with me.

"No Rose, you listen. I know I hurt you when I left and for that I am sorry. I will do everything in my power to try and convince you that it was for your own protection and for Vasilsa's but if this is what you need then I can deal with it...for now."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Standing I turned to look down at him. He was sitting there looking up at me and again we just stood there gazing at each other. There was so much more that I wanted to say but couldn't instead I made my way down the stairs and away from him.

**Please review, I like to know your thoughts on the story and how you think it should continue. I do have a plan for the story but I will consider any suggestions that people have. Thanks again for reading. Also, tomorrow I leave for a two week holiday to Canada. I will try my hardest to try and upload another chapter while I'm away but I can't promise that I will be able to. So enjoy this chapter and if I can't upload another chapter, I will see you all in two weeks!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So I know this chapter is beyond late and I won't bother with excuses. Long story short, my holiday in Canada was great but in the process of travelling my laptop got smashed. In fact it is still being fixed. To upload this chapter I had to steal my brother's laptop. Add this to the growing pile of university work and I am seriously lacking in time. **

**To make it up to everyone I made this chapter extra-long so please forgive me **

I walked into Lissa's room to find her unpacking. I knew she was alone thanks to our bond and I had to talk to her. I had finally decided to tell her what had happened, if only to have some of the burden lifted of carrying such a huge secret.

"Hey Liss, can we talk?"

She looked up from where she had been placing clothes into a dresser.

"Huh? Oh hey Rose," She said with a huge smile. "Just let me finish this up."

Moving further into the room I made my way over to the bed and flopped down, turning my head to watch as she organised the clothes.

"You know Liss, we are only here for a few days. You don't have to actually act like your moving in." She knew I was teasing and didn't reply. We had had the same routine since I became her guardian. We would arrive at a new place and she would instantly unpack all of her things whereas I would simply live out of the suitcase for however long we stayed in that place.

"And you Rose could actually act like you're not about to run away. Have you even taken anything out of your bags?"

"Of course," I replied, indicating my clothes. "I'm wearing different clothes aren't I?"

"Yes, I noticed. But we are at the Courts; you don't always have to be on duty. Why don't we go out? We haven't had a good girls' night out in a long time. Maybe you can even meet a guy."

My thoughts instantly went to the one guy I wanted and couldn't have. I had to remember that.

"No guys Liss, you're my number one priority."

Through the bond I could feel her guilt and worry and instantly tried to ease it.

"Hey, it's ok." I told her sitting up.

"I worry." I know she did. She worried all the time about my safety and my happiness, that guilt always there for me having to protect her.

"Hey, I'm the one who is meant to worry. I'm the guardian," I forced a smile and jokingly said, "besides who needs guys when I have Christian."

She laughed and went back to folding her clothes but those feelings hadn't disappeared.

"Seriously though, we need to find you a guy. This would have to be the longest you have ever gone without a boyfriend."

I didn't reply, simply flopping back down on the bed. It was true; I hadn't had a boyfriend in a long time. When Dimitri had left, I had tried to move on but after a while I had given up. Every time I would meet a new guy I would automatically compare him to Dimitri and could only find faults in them. Other times I wouldn't feel as into them as they were into me and would break it off knowing that I was leading them on. I had kept telling myself that they came first and had pushed aside the loneliness.

I lay there letting her happily talk about some party we could go to. I wasn't paying attention, too lost in my own thoughts and memories.

"So what do you think?"

"Huh?" I jerked my head towards where she was standing with her hands on my hips expectantly. Having not been listening, I had no idea what she had asked. I just lay there staring at her blankly.

She sighed and let her hands drop to her side.

"You weren't listening to anything I just said were you?" Nodding sheepishly, I tried to push aside my thoughts and focus on what she was saying.

"I'm sorry Liss, I was distracted. What were you saying?" She simply narrowed her eyes at me and moved to sit next to me on the bed.

"Yeah, I've noticed. You've been distracted a lot since we arrived here. What's going on?"

I couldn't stop the tears that came to my eyes. I blinked my eyes, trying make them go away but only more came. I felt Lissa move and wrap her arms around my shoulders in hug.

"Hey, you can tell me anything right. You remember that don't you?" I was scaring her; I could feel it through the bond. She was able to count on one hand the amount of times that I had cried in front of her. I was making her feel worse because she couldn't think of anything that could be wrong.

I sat up and looked at her. I could see and feel the worry and curiosity burning through her but she was being patient, waiting for me to tell her what was wrong. And I did beginning right from when Dimitri had first recaptured us almost four years ago.

I just kept talking, telling her about everything. I didn't know how long I long I went on for but she sat quietly beside me taking it all in. As soon as I had begun to tell her everything she had put the walls up in the bond so I couldn't know what she was thinking. It was her way of encouraging me to go on.

And I did, even when my voice grew croaky from talking so much I kept going.

"And then I saw him again yesterday in the gym and well, you were there so you could see how it was. Now we have to work together and I don't know if I can do it." I stopped, my body wracked with sobs. Lissa pulled me back into her arms and held me while I cried.

I cried harder than I ever had. All those feelings that I had pushed aside and bottled up for the past four years came to the surface and all I could do was cry. More tears kept coming no matter how hard I tried to stop them.

Finally I was able to calm myself down and sit up from where I had leaning against Lissa. I could still feel tears falling down my face and I hastily moved to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I ruined your shirt." I was trying to make a joke but it only came out as a weak croak, my voice too hoarse from all the crying.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She said it so quietly that I didn't think that I had heard correctly.

"What?"

"I said, why didn't you tell me?" I didn't need the bond to know that she was hurt, but it was more than that, she was also angry.

"Why, Rose? Why didn't you tell me?" She was standing now with her back to me but she had finally removed the walls she had put up and I was able to feel her through the bond again. I had been right. She was hurt and angry at me but she was also angry at herself. She was ashamed that she hadn't noticed anything, that she wasn't able to pick up on anything being wrong with me.

I stood up and moved to stand in front of her.

"Liss, I wanted to tell you. I did."

"Then why didn't you? Did you not trust me?" I could see tears in her eyes. She was really hurt that I hadn't told her, thinking that I didn't trust her enough to tell her.

"No, Liss, of course I trust you. I trust you more than anyone else. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you-"

"Don't," I could see the anger in her eyes now. "Don't use that as an excuse. I would have been here for you if you had told me. What was the real reason you didn't tell me?"

I just stared at her, for once in my life totally speechless. It was awhile before I was finally able to say something.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you. At the time it was because of you- I didn't want to worry you. You had just been through everything that happened with Victor and you were still learning to deal with Spirit I didn't see the need to burden you with anything else."

"You're not a burden Rose, you're my best friend. You have to stop deciding what I can and cannot handle. Why didn't you tell me after? It's been three years."

"Honestly Liss, I don't know. After he left all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. I didn't want to appear weak so I hid everything, pretended I was fine. Then after graduation everyone kept saying how good I was and how lucky you were to have me as your guardian, I felt I had to live up to that. To be strong and live up to this reputation that everyone threw on me."

I moved back over to the bed and sat down, still lost in thought.

"I didn't tell you because- because I wanted to have something of my own. I really did... do love him and I just wanted to have that for myself. I was scared that if I told anyone that it would bring me back to reality and I would realise that it was all a dream."

I stopped talking, worried that I would start crying again. I had never told anyone what I had just told her. I had barely realised it myself but now I could feel the truth in the words I was saying.

I _was_ scared that at any time someone would come out and say 'wake up' and that I would see that everything that I had had with Dimitri was a lie. I don't think that I would be able to survive that.

I looked up at where Liss was still standing. Through the bond I could feel the anger start to dissipate but she was still hurt that I hadn't told her, even though she now understood why I hadn't.

"I never knew- never even suspected- that there was anything between you and Dimitri. I thought I knew everything about you. How could I have not seen it?" While she had been talking she made her way over to where I was sitting.

I could feel how confused and ashamed she was with herself for not noticing something so huge was happening to me and I tried to make her feel better.

"Liss, no one knew. We kept it a secret from everyone. If somebody had found out Dimitri would have been fired or worse and I couldn't let that happen. Do you understand why I didn't tell you? Why I couldn't tell you?"

I needed to know that she would be able to forgive me. I couldn't live with myself if I had done something that would ruin our friendship.

She nodded her head slowly, though I could still feel how hurt she was.

"I do Rose, but you have to stop keeping things from me. It's for me to decide what I can and cannot handle. Do _you_ understand that? I don't need your protection from everything."

I knew that and I could see how strong she was but it had been drilled into me from the time I was born that I had to do everything to protect my charge and to me that meant emotional as well as physical.

But instead of telling her I simply nodded my head.

"Yeah Liss, I do know that."

"Good. Now tell me what you're going to do about Dimitri. I'm sorry, if I had known I wouldn't have made him my other guardian."

"I know but I'm glad that you did choose him. He's the best and you deserve the best Liss."

She didn't say anything again, just sat there waiting expectantly for me to tell her.

"I'm not going to do anything," I said with a sigh. "I can't do anything. We're both your guardians again. It was the same problem we had back then. We can't risk your safety and we would be. Two guardians who are romantically together can't fully protect their charge if they are worried about one another."

There was guilt flowing into me from the bond. She thought that it was her fault.

"No Liss. You can't feel guilty about it. It isn't your fault. We're both guardians and we know our duty is to protect you." _They come first_. I was really beginning to hate that saying.

"So, what? You're just going to be what- friends?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to tell her about what I had decided to do not wanting to make her feel any worse, but I did anyway.

"No. I can't be friends with him. I have to be purely professional with him, nothing more. I can't handle watching him leave again." My voice shook as I said that last part but I didn't bother trying to hide it. She was right. If we were going to protect her properly she had to know what was going on between her two guardians.

"But Rose, you don't know that he _will_ walk away again do you? If you told him how you felt-"

I interrupted her before she could continue.

"No Liss. I can't. If I let myself feel that way again it would be putting you in danger."

"No Rose. Just stop." She jumped up and began pacing up and down the room. I just sat there looking at her in astonishment. "You're using me as an excuse. You don't want to tell him how you feel because you're scared that he'll reject you. Or that he won't and would actually want to be with you and that would mean you would have to admit to yourself that you might actually need someone."

I was stunned. Liss hardly ever got angry, it just wasn't in her nature, and she almost never got angry at me; but right now that was exactly how she was feeling.

I opened my mouth ready to say something, I didn't know what, when the door opened and in walked Christian. My already dark mood grew even worse when I saw who he was with. Tasha and behind her was Dimitri.

It was just my luck that the person causing all of my troubles would pick that moment to walk in.

"Hey babe, guess who is here to see yo- oh hey Rose." Christian didn't seem all that surprised to see me. His eyes flicked from Liss back to me on the bed. "I'm sorry, are we interrupting something?"

"No." I said quickly jumping up off the bed.

"Yes, actually-" Lissa began saying but stopped when I jumped off the bed.

Christian's surprised gaze once again flicked back to me and his eyes, if possible, grew wider.

"Have you been crying?" He asked in disbelief.

I shot him a quick glare before quickly letting my hair fall in my face hiding my eyes from view. The whole time we had been talking Tasha and Dimitri had stood there silently watching.

Trying to distract everyone's attention from me Lissa quickly ran over and gave Tasha a hug.

"Hey Tash. It's so good to see you again."

Through the bond I could feel Liss sending me a message. _We will talk about this later ok?_ I didn't say anything. I wasn't looking forward to the rest of that conversation.

"It's good to see you too. I can't believe how much I have missed you guys. It's good to see you too Rose."

I took a deep breath and plastered on a smile before making my way over to the group. Carefully avoiding Dimitri's eye I moved to Tasha and gave her a stiff hug.

"It's nice to see you too Tasha." I mentally groaned. Even I could hear how hard I was trying to sound cheerful but she didn't seem to notice it and just kept on talking.

"You guys haven't changed a bit. I can't believe how long it has been since we last saw you. I have heard all about what has been happening. It's just too bad that it is under such bad circumstances that we can finally see each other."

I had tuned her out by then, not wanting to have to listen to her cheerful chatter. My eyes drifted over to Dimitri to find him studying me closely. I could tell that he knew that I had been crying and I quickly averted my eyes so that he wouldn't realise what was wrong.

I tried to listen to what the other three were eagerly discussing so as to keep my eyes from moving back to Dimitri.

"Why don't we all go out to dinner tonight and catch up? I'm sure we have plenty to catch up on. Dimitri isn't on duty so we can all go. Wouldn't that be fun?"

No. That didn't sound fun at all. That sounded like my own personal hell. Complete with the two people I wished to avoid as much as possible.

"That sounds great. We would love to come." Christian said.

"Actually Tasha, Rose and I already had plans tonight." Lissa said with a meaningful look my way. I knew she wanted to continue our conversation about Dimitri and that sounded worse at the moment than dinner did.

"Actually, I would love to come, Tasha. Liss and I can hang out anytime. It isn't very often that we get to see each other." Everyone looked surprised by my sudden enthusiasm but no one questioned it.

Plans were made to meet at a restaurant on the other side of Courts and I started to make my excuse to get out of there.

_Rose, we need to talk about this._

I nodded my head subtly so that only Lissa would notice then quickly said my goodbyes. I made my way back to my own room and collapsed on my own bed.

What had I done?

**And there it is. Please review and tell me what you think, even if it is to yell at me for such a long break between chapters…**


	8. Chapter 8

**So since I feel so bad and finally have some free time on my hands, I have written up chapter 8 for you all to read. There were some requests for this to be another Dimitri POV chapter but I decided that the story would flow easier if I did this one from Rose's POV. There is another DPOV chapter coming soon, so don't be worried **

I had to look hot. More than hot, I had to look amazing. If only to make me feel more confident in myself. I still couldn't believe that I had gotten myself into this mess. I had to have been crazy to have thought that dinner with Lissa, Christian, Dimitri _and_ Tasha was a good idea- or at least a better option than spending a night arguing with Lissa about Dimitri. I would happily take that second option now if it meant getting out of this dinner.

I stood in the middle of my room and looked around. Clothes were strewn everywhere. I had been trying to find the perfect thing to wear since I had made it back to my room but I couldn't find anything. With the rush in packing I had basically thrown my whole wardrobe into my suitcase and I still couldn't find anything suitable. My top three choices all seemed either to be too formal or too casual.

I turned and kicked my suitcase in frustration. I kicked it a little harder than intended and it flew over to the other side of the room and landed upside down. With another frustrated sigh I stormed over to where it had landed and flipped it back the right way ready to put all my clothes back away.

As I dropped it to the floor out flew a dress that I hadn't known was left in there. I bent over and picked it up. I hadn't seen this dress since I was in school. It was the black one I had worn to that one dance, the same night that Lissa had been kidnapped and the same night that Dimitri and I-

A sly smile spread over my face. This was the perfect thing to wear. The dress alone held so many memories and unfulfilled promises that it seemed to fit my life perfectly. I was able to distinctly remember asking Dimitri if I would risk my reputation if I wore it to that dance and his response was that I would endanger the school.

With a giddy smile I quickly threw off my clothes and eased the dress on. It still fit perfectly even if it was slightly shorter than what it used to be. It clung and showed off my body perfectly without being too slutty.

As I studied myself in the mirror it came to mind that wearing this dress would make Dimitri uncomfortable but that bitterness still residing in me welcomed it. I also had the guilty thought that this dress was something that Dimitri and I had shared, something that Tasha could not take away.

It was with that final thought that I finished getting ready. I fished out a pair of simple black heels and hurriedly made my way to the restaurant.

In my rush to get ready I hadn't checked the time and upon arriving at the restaurant I realised that I was early. It was almost unheard of for me to arrive anywhere early unless it was important, so the surprised look on Dimitri's face was amusing- right up until I realised that he was the only other one here.

Quickly wiping the smile off my face I nodded towards him.

"Guardian Belikov."

He didn't say anything at first and thinking he hadn't heard what I said I was about to repeat my greeting when he finally looked at me with wide eyes.

"Rose?" His voice was strangled and came out more as a question.

Saying nothing I simply nodded my head in answer. He couldn't seem to look away from me and I was beginning to become uncomfortable with his stare.

I was also beginning to regret having come even more than before, when finally I spotted Lissa making her way over with Christian and Tasha in tow. She looked stunning in a pale pink dress that I would never be able to pull off and I had to admit to myself that Tasha looked nice in a deep blue dress. It was simple yet elegant- it suited her perfectly. I suddenly felt extremely cheap in my short dress and was just about to make an excuse to leave when Christian spoke up.

"Hey Rose. Nice dress. Isn't that the same one you wore to punch a Moroi in the face? Mia right?" He had his usual smirk on his face. I smiled deviously at him.

"Yes. So you should know that I have no worries about hitting a person who pisses me off- even a Moroi." His smirk didn't entirely leave his face but I could see worry in his eyes. He knew that I wasn't lying and wasn't willing to try my patience out tonight.

I turned and smiled at Lissa.

"Hey, you look nice." She smiled at me but had a curious look on her face. I could feel her asking me questions through the bond.

_Isn't that the same dress you wore to the dance? But that was the night of that lust charm._

I simply nodded not wanting everyone to know that we were communicating through the bond. All three knew about it of course- there was hardly anyone who hadn't heard about it- but I didn't want them finding out what exactly we were talking about.

_Rose! _She chastised me, _don't be a tease. Look at his face, the poor guy; he can't take his eyes off you- which I suppose was exactly what you wanted to happen._

I quickly glanced over at Dimitri only to see that what Lissa had said was true. He was still staring at me, his face tense and hands balled into fists. A sudden pang of guilt hit me. He was angry at me and I was able to easily sense why. I was taunting him and he knew it.

I looked back over at Tasha and Christian to see if they had noticed the silent conversation that Lissa and I were having or Dimitri's stiff posture but they were deep in conversation.

As we were ushered to our table I found myself sitting next to Dimitri and opposite Tasha. Through the bond I could feel Lissa'a satisfaction over the seating arrangements making me suspect that she had purposely forced us to sit beside each other.

Throughout the dinner Tasha would ask questions and I grew from simply uncomfortable to desperately needing to leave. Lissa sensing my desperation quickly distracted Tasha with her own questions and Christian soon joined in the conversation.

That desperate need to reach out and touch Dimitri had overcome me again the moment that I had sat down and I was beginning to feel my hand reaching out under the table towards his still clenched fists. I wasn't able to stop myself and within a matter of seconds I had his hand in mine trying gently to unclench his fist.

He jumped slightly at my touch but didn't pull away. I wasn't sure whether to be scared or relieved at his hesitancy. As I slowly uncurled his fingers I felt them softly brush against my thigh where the dress met my leg. We both froze where we were- my hand in his sitting gently on my leg.

It was at that moment that Christian and Tasha stood to leave, him having offered to walk her back to her room. My sense of duty kicked in and quickly dropping his hand I stood up already offering to walk back with them.

They gently declined my offer and walked off leaving only the three of us at the table. To try and cover the awkward silence that had fallen over the table I began to talk quickly about the first thing that came to mind- the food.

I kept babbling on until Lissa finally stood up and stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey Rose would you mind walking me back to my room?"

I looked at her and nodded, scared that I would embarrass myself again if I opened my mouth. Behind me I could hear Dimitri quietly getting to his feet. I hadn't realised he was standing behind me until he spoke.

"If I may accompany you, Princess?"

With that the three of us left the restaurant. I wasn't listening to the conversation between Lissa and Dimitri, too caught up in thinking over what I had done.

I had promised myself that I would stay completely professional with him but that seemed to have lasted only a day. What scared me most was how I wasn't able to control my actions; and even more, that I didn't want to. I finally admitted to myself that it had been nice to do something that I had _wanted_ to do instead of always doing things I _had_ to do, even if it was only as simple touching his hand.

But it was more than that. In that simple brush of my leg I could feel the control that we were both trying to hold on to. I had been relieved beyond comprehension to know that he was having as much trouble keeping it as I was. It meant that he still had feelings for me or, at least, was attracted to my body.

It was with a shock that I realised we had reached Lissa's room already and after she was inside I turned to leave towards my room only to feel Dimitri's hand reach out and grab my shoulder.

"I will walk with you back to your room as well." And as he looked at me I realised that he knew about the threats. He was worried about me- I could see it in his eyes. I didn't want to hurt him further by walking off, so I nodded and we began walking towards my room.

I was only staying about a five minute walk from Lissa's room but it felt like an eternity. A heavy silence grew between us and I didn't know how to break it.

We finally reached my door and I hesitated before going in.

"Thank you." I said quietly over my shoulder. I couldn't turn to face him, knowing that the last shred of my control would be lost and I would kiss him.

He didn't reply and I thought that he had left. I glanced over my shoulder to see him studying me in that same he had been staring at me before dinner.

"Tasha and I aren't together. We never were." He spoke so suddenly that I jumped slightly. It took a moment to sink in what he had said.

"What?" I gasped spinning and facing him.

"We were never together. That's not why I left." His face was set the most serious that I had ever seen it.

I didn't know how long we stood there gazing at each other. I could see so many emotions in his eyes. Emotions that he had never let me in on before and I did the one thing that I didn't want to do. I pushed him away, at the same time hurting him almost as deeply as he had hurt me.

"It isn't any of my business if you and Tasha are together. It never was. You had an opportunity and you took it. I had no right to be angry at your decision."

His seriousness cracked and I could see how deeply I had hurt him. His voice was almost a whisper when he next spoke.

"You don't mean that."

I could see that he realised that I wasn't going to say anything and with a palpable effort I saw him put his guardian mask in place.

"Our test is tomorrow to see how well we will work together. You must be down by the track by nine, ready to start." He said his voice emotionless.

I was about to crack and tell him how much I cared, but he simply nodded his head and left without saying another word.

I stood there motionless before turning and opening the door. I thought that I had used up all my tears earlier that morning with Lissa but more welled up behind my eyes and I didn't have the energy to try and stop them from falling.

Throwing the dress on the floor, I dumped the clothes still on the bed back into the suitcase and climbed into bed still crying. I was exhausted but hours passed before I was finally able to stop crying and fall into a fitful sleep.

**And there it is. I am a huge sucker for reviews so please tell me your thoughts on this chapter and I apologise for the delay in updating.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N So here is chapter 10. I was able to write it fairly quick and will even get 11 and maybe 12 up pretty quickly.**

**So how is the story going so far? Good? Bad? Anyone bored? Confused? Let me know.**

**Again the usual disclaimer applies; I only own this story nothing else. Most of you will recognise a scene from Frostbite that I put in this chapter which completely belongs to Richelle.**

_NO!_

_Liss stood before me pale and cold, a small smirk on her face._

"_You can't protect me. You will never be able to protect me." And she started to laugh, cold and calculating._

"_No. That's not true. I can protect you. I did." I was mumbling now, trying to convince myself that what I was seeing wasn't real. She was able to hear me and she only laughed harder with what seemed to be genuine amusement. Something wasn't right. Lissa wouldn't laugh at me, especially at something like this. _

_She started to move towards me, her steps confident and controlled, like nothing could hurt her._

"_Poor Rose. Don't worry, once you're turned you can make it up to me."_

_She was so close now that I could see her fangs as she talked and the red that was now her once green eyes._

"No!"

I sat up so suddenly in bed that my head spun. I was sticky with sweat and breathing heavily. _It was just a dream; a bad dream, nothing else. It wasn't true. It won't ever be real._ I was beginning to calm down with my mental ranting but I was still freaked. That wasn't the first Strigoi dream that I had had but it had never seemed so real before. It seemed now that I couldn't stop worrying about Lissa's safety even while I was sleeping.

Rubbing my eyes I glanced over at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

"Shit." I only had twenty minutes to get down to the track otherwise I was going to be late. After having the world's quickest shower I hastily got dressed and ran out the door.

I could see the track ahead and pushed myself to run faster. I couldn't risk being late if it meant being taken away from Lissa.

"I'm here, I'm here." I gasped coming to a sudden halt in front of the guardians. An older guy with a beaked nose turned towards me.

"Ms Hathaway I assume? You're late."

"It's _Guardian_ Hathaway thanks, and I believe that I am right on time." I looked over his shoulder to see Alberta trying to give me a stern look but not fully succeeding. If she was one of the assessors then today wouldn't be so bad, she was tough but she was fair.

I looked back to beak-nose to see him watching me unhappily. He obviously didn't want to be here. _Well that makes two of us buddy._

"Please catch up to Mr Belikov and do some warm up laps." Glancing to the other side of the track I could see Dimitri jogging his way round the track.

"Yes sir." And I was off again. I didn't mind running. I was able to release my frustration into my steps. I couldn't be so sarcastic with the beaked man. If he didn't think I could handle a simple test then he would think me unsuitable for the job. I wasn't about to let that happen.

I was easily able to catch up to Dimitri, running always having been one of my strong points, but when he heard me approaching he sped up. The mentor in him had come forward and he wanted to push me. I moved a little faster and struck a pace alongside him.

I didn't know how many laps of the track we did but a sudden whistle pierced the still air. We both made our way over to where the three guardians were standing. As soon as we reached them Beak Man started talking.

"The test today is to see how well you work together. It says here in your files that Belikov was Hathaway's mentor at the academy. That could be used against you, so you have to forget about that and focus on working as a team. If you pass today's tests then you both will become Princess Dragomir's guardians, a great honour. But first you must pass the tests."

I rolled my eyes. It seemed that I had converted back to my seventeen year old self. Beak Man grated on my nerves the same way that my old principal, Kirova, had. It didn't help that I was nervous at fighting Dimitri again. In all our training sessions I had never been able to one up him and today he could use that against me. I doubted he would but, after my taunting and hurting him last night, I was a bit worried.

"The first test is going to be a one on one, offensive-defensive attack. Belikov you will pretend to be a Strigoi, Hathaway will be on the defensive and try to 'kill' you. This is to test your fighting skills. Obviously the Strigoi are much faster and stronger but you have to make it as difficult as you can for her. Understand Belikov?"

"Yes sir." It was an imitation of my own reply earlier but he, of course, said it politely.

"You will begin when you hear the whistle." He then moved back far enough to have a good view but still being a safe distance from the fight.

Rolling my eyes I looked up into Dimitri's face. I could feel myself slipping into our old bantering relationship we had had during training sessions and it felt nice.

"Feels like we're back at school don't it?" I said. He simply stepped away from me and crouched down in a fighting stance.

"Rose, you need to take this seriously. Don't laugh it off." He replied in a tense voice. He obviously wasn't feeling the same as I was. Imitating his position I could feel the anger and bitterness creeping back into me.

The shrill of the whistle went off and we began to move. It was like we were dancing- a deadly dance where one miss step could end up with one of us 'dead'.

I was holding my own in the fight right up until Dimitri was able to dodge one of my punches and kick my legs from under me.

"Oomf." I landed flat on my back, Dimitri pinning me down. In this position a Strigoi would have instant access to my neck. I tried squirming away from under him but he held me tight. Instead I was able to free one of legs. I brought it up as fast as I could and kneed him in the stomach.

I surprised him long enough to be able to push him off me and jump back up to my feet. He got back up and we soon began circling one another again. If I kept this up he would beat me. Dimitri was able to predict my moves, having been the one to teach me, and therefore was able to effectively counter my attacks. I needed something surprising and unexpected.

I feinted left and made it look as if to kick him, instead I quickly brought my fist up and hit him in the side causing him to stumble slightly. But that was all I needed. I kicked his legs out from under him and used my elbow to pin him to the ground.

I wasn't strong enough to keep him there so he managed to flip onto his back so I ended up straddling him. He caught my wrist as I brought a stick that I had grabbed off the ground on his chest. We struggled like that for a few moments before I was finally able to break his grip. I brought my 'stake' down over his heart and effectively 'killed' him.

I collapsed forward onto his chest breathing heavily, too tired to move. He seemed to be in a similar state, not bothering to move me off of him. His hand moved from its place on the ground beside my leg up until it reached my waist where my shirt had ridden up. His hand on my bare skin caused a shiver to race up my spine.

I lifted my head so as to see his face. He was looking directly at me as I felt his hand gently massage my skin. It felt as if we were in our world full of tension, just like dinner last night, waiting to see how the other would react.

I never had a chance to see what would have happened as we heard footsteps making their way over to us. We both sat up and I was able to reluctantly move myself from his lap. I was so confused over his constant mood swings. Last night he had been hurt, tense and angry but this morning he was playing with me. He was trying to prove that I hadn't meant what I had said to him, he wanted to prove that I did care about him.

"That was very good Hathaway. You were able to surprise him, do something he didn't expect, a good skill to have in a fight with Strigoi." It was Beak Man again. He was really beginning to piss me off.

Alberta seemed to sense my darkening mood and quickly interrupted whatever he was about to say next.

"Rose, Dimitri that was excellent. You both showed amazing fighting skills and were able to keep your cool even fighting each other. If you fight like that in an attack, you will most likely always win, but I am sure you already know that based on your past experiences."

That was better; they weren't treating us like we hadn't even graduated anymore. She was looking specifically at me and I shot her a small innocent smile. I was giddy from finally having won a fight with Dimitri and my body was still finetuned to his every movement. I knew that I deserved everything that he was giving me after taunting him last night but Rose Hathaway wasn't one to sit back and take it.

"Head over to the gym, stretch and relax before your next test. We will be in in a while after we assess your skills." I shot another smile at Alberta before walking into the gym. I had nothing to worry about, I had tried my hardest in that fight and all that hard work had payed off.

I paused as I entered the gym and felt Dimitri do the same beside me. The large room had been transformed into a huge obstacle course. It was so big that I didn't know where it began and where it ended. Beside me I could feel that Dimitri was startled by the size but he wasn't surprised that it was here, which led me to think that he knew exactly what was going to happen.

I walked as far as I could get without climbing over the wooden stairs, needing some space between us. My mood seemed to be swinging all over the place. I was happy one moment and angry the next. I was used to these mood swings though. Recently I was getting them more and more as Lissa used her magic but it seemed to be worse today.

My mind went back to the dream that had awoken me. I was definitely freaked over seeing my sweet and bubbly Lissa as a cold and calculating Strigoi, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was more than that.

It was with a shock that I realised Dimitri was talking to me.

"-very good. Your skills have improved immensely since we last trained together. It is good to see."

"You would have seen that if you bothered to check in and see how I was doing after you left." I spat out. Thinking about the dream had darkened my mood even further.

He stood there looking surprised before he glared at me but didn't say anything, something that pissed me off even more. I stomped over to him.

"I don't know why you left and honestly I couldn't really care right now, but not once did I even get a 'Hi Rose, good to know you're alive' phone call. And now you're trying to tell me you care about me. Well stop, you're messing with me. All I want is to get through these stupid tests so that I can get back to my job, get back to keeping Lissa safe. She's your charge now too so you should think about doing the same thing."

My rant drained me; I took a deep breath and looked up into his face. He had a strange expression on his face, a mix of anger, guilt and something else that I couldn't place. His hands were in fists by his sides and I could see him fighting for control. It felt as if we had had this argument before and my mind flashed back to the time in school when I had let my emotions get the better of me.

...

_My frustration suddenly hit a breaking point, and I gave up trying to maintain my control. I was so tired of being told reasonable, practical things whenever something went wrong in my life. Somewhere in me, I knew Dimitri only wanted to help, but I just wasn't up for the well-meant words. I wanted comfort for my problems. I didn't want to think about what would make me a better person. I wished he'd just hold me and tell me not to worry._

_"Okay, can you just stop this for once?" I demanded, hands on my hips._

_"Stop what?"_

_"The whole profound Zen crap thing. You don't talk to me like a real person. Everything you say is just some wise, life-lesson nonsense. You really do sound like a Christmas special." I knew it wasn't entirely fair to take my anger out on him, but I found myself practically shouting. _

_"I swear, sometimes it's just like you want to hear yourself talk! And I __know __you're not always this way. You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha. But with me? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role."_

_He stared at me, uncharacteristically surprised. "I don't care about you?"_

_"No." I was being petty—very, very petty. And I knew the truth—that he __did __care and was more than just a mentor. I couldn't help myself, though. It just kept coming and coming. I jabbed his chest with my finger. "I'm another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that—"_

_The hand I'd hoped would touch my hair suddenly reached out and grabbed my pointing hand. He pinned it to the wall, and I was surprised to see a flare of emotion in his eyes. It wasn't exactly anger…but it was frustration of another kind._

_"Don't tell me what I'm feeling," he growled._

_I saw then that half of what I'd said was true. He was almost always calm, always in control—even when fighting. But he'd also told me how he'd once snapped and beaten up his Moroi father. He'd actually been like me once—always on the verge of acting without thinking, doing things he knew he shouldn't._

_"That's it, isn't it?" I asked._

_"What?"_

_"You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me."_

_"No," he said, still obviously worked up. "I've learned my control."_

_Something about this new realization emboldened me. "No," I informed him. "You haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't. And sometimes …" I leaned forward, lowering my voice. "Sometimes you don't want to."_

_"Rose…"_

_I could see his laboured breathing and knew his heart was beating as quickly as mine. And he wasn't pulling away. I knew this was wrong—knew all the logical reasons for us staying apart. But right then, I didn't care. I didn't want to control myself. I didn't want to be good._

_Before he realized what was happening, I kissed him. Our lips met, and when I felt him kiss me back, I knew I was right. He pressed himself closer, trapping me between him and the wall. He kept holding my hand, but his other one snaked behind my head, sliding into my hair. The kiss was filled with so much intensity; it held anger, passion, release…._

_He was the one who broke it. He jerked away from me and took several steps back, looking shaken._

_"Do __not __do that again," he said stiffly._

_"Don't kiss me back then," I retorted._

_He stared at me for what seemed like forever. "I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control."_

_"You're doing a great job," I said bitterly._

_He closed his eyes for half a second, exhaled, and muttered something in Russian. Without another glance at me, he turned and left the room._

...

I snapped myself out of my memory just in time. It seemed that this argument was heading in the same direction; my finger was even pointed at his chest. He seemed to realise it at the same time and moved back. That didn't stop him from replying however.

"I left to protect you." He said harshly. "These threats against you aren't new; they have been coming in since you were kidnapped. Me being with you was a distraction. One that could have gotten Vasilisa killed... or you. You came close to it that day in Spokane. Leaving was the best thing for me to do. It allowed you to concentrate on Lissa and keeping her safe."

He suddenly stopped talking and started pacing, but he wasn't finished yet.

"And I did check up on you. Every month I found out how you were, if you were safe, if the princess was still alive. But I kept my distance knowing that I was doing the right thing, even after seeing you here I was able to keep to myself, stay away from you but then you show up in that _dress_." He had stopped pacing now and stood directly in front of me.

I was speechless, so shocked by what he was saying that I was rooted to the spot. He had never said so much about what he was thinking before to me, usually just keeping quiet and keeping his distance but now he had lost his control, and I had no idea what to do.

He just stood there looking at me and before I knew it he had pulled me into his arms. He was so fast I had barely even seen him move, but then he was kissing me and all thought flew out of my head.

**So I'm not too above myself to beg for reviews. Please let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N How is everyone going? I am sorry this one has taken so long again to write but life has a habit of getting in the way of my writing. I know annoying isn't it? But here is chapter 11 I hope you enjoy.**

***** Chapter has now been revised *****

This kiss wasn't like our stolen kisses from back at the academy, it wasn't soft and gentle. It was hungry and full of lust. It became an outlet for all of the built-up emotions over the three years. We had both completely lost control and I had no thoughts of trying to get it back. He kept pulling me closer until there was no space between us and it felt... right. Three years of pain and loneliness disappeared in that kiss and I never wanted it to end.

It was in that kiss that I saw what my life could've been like-a life without duty and responsibility- where I was able to be whoever I wanted and love whoever I wanted. What I wanted was Dimitri, with all my heart; but I knew that reality was more complicated than that. I didn't have that luxury, my life _was_ full duty and responsibility and it was that thought that had me reluctantly pulling away from him.

As soon as we separated the seriousness of what we had done seemed to crash into us.

"No. We can't. I can't- I can't hurt Lissa like that. That's what will happen if we keep doing this, she will be put in danger and get hurt. I would never forgive myself and neither would you." I finally looked back into his eyes and I could see longing and frustration for what we couldn't have.

He lifted his hand and cupped my face; wiping away tears that I hadn't realised were there. He bent his head towards me but I flinched away from him. With a small growl of frustration he dropped his hands and took a step back.

I turned my back to him and quickly wiped away the last of the tears. I had just managed to put my guardian mask back on when Alberta and Beak Man entered the gym. I turned to face them ready for our next challenge. This is who I was…I needed the challenge to work out all the frustration and anger.

"Ok ready for the last part of the test?" Alberta asked.

"Ready or not they will be participating." Beak Man answered before we had a chance to reply. If either of them noticed the sudden tension between Dimitri and me they didn't comment on it. "You will have to make your way through this obstacle course but you must work as partners to get to the end. Of course it isn't as simple as it sounds; there will extra obstacles added to the course to fit your difficulty level as you go. It is up to you to determine if that obstacle is a threat to you or your Moroi. You will be timed on how long it takes the both of you to get through."

I was growing more anxious as he described the task. I had a tendency to act without thinking and the course seemed like it was about to test my skills. For the first time since we had arrived at the Courts I was relieved to have Dimitri by my side during the challenge.

"Right, here are your stakes." As he was talking he handed over two wooden stakes. The longer these trials went on the more it reminded me of being back at the academy, waiting to graduate. I was just as, if not more, nervous then I had been then. I may not have been graduating after this test but I was still fighting for the same thing- being Lissa's guardian.

"Please step over to the starting point at the steps. Remember you must both make it through the course in as quick a time as possible, take too long and the Moroi at the end will be 'dead'."

After we were in position to begin, both of the other guardians moved out of sight, presumably to the end of the course, and we were once again left alone. This time was different. I was aware of him there and of my feelings for him, I always would be, but we were both now focused on the task. We were both determined to do the best that we possibly could.

"_Go!_" I heard Alberta yell. My feet seemed to move by their own accord and I was off running towards the first obstacle- a wall. Dimitri reached the wall seconds before I did. He jumped propelling himself up into the air. Using his height to his advantage, he was able to grab onto the wall, a feat I would never have been able to achieve, and pulled himself up.

Balancing on top he reached down and I was able to jump and grab his hand. He pulled me up level with him; I helped as much as I could, using my legs to climb the wall faster. Once we were standing on top of the wall we were able to survey the rest of the course. It was a maze of walls and dead ends and I was positive that there would be guardians lurking around corners waiting to jump out and 'attack' us.

We both jumped down off the wall and moved forward as silently as possible. Dimitri had come to the same conclusion as I had about the guardians lying in wait and we weren't taking any chances of being taken by surprised.

I carefully surveyed the whole area as we rounded the corner. The pathway was empty and we again moved forwards. There was a sound behind me and I spun just in time to see three guardians in black running towards us.

I dodged a kick from one while also narrowly avoiding a punch to the head from another. Behind me I could hear Dimitri fighting the third 'Strigoi'. I was able to quickly take down the first guardian but the second proved to be more of a challenge. He lunged at me, trying to grab my arm, but I jumped back out of the way. Using his momentum from the jump I grabbed a hold of his arm and spun him so that he hit the wall hard.

Dimitri was suddenly beside me, having effectively 'killed' his opponent and together we were able to take the last one down within seconds. All three of the guardians then moved back out of the way and we were able to continue on into the maze.

The minutes stretched as we made our way through the maze unobstructed. I grew more tense the longer we went through without having another obstacle. It seemed too easy. All of a sudden a large group ran around the corner and headed straight for us. I crouched down ready for another fight but Dimitri stopped me.

"They're humans." Technically they were guardians pretending to be humans but it was all the same at the moment. Either way it looked like we had to get them out of the maze as well as ourselves. Dimitri quickly rounded them up and we continued on, me at the front and Dimitri following at the back of the group. Now not only did we have to get out of the maze successfully we had to get an added five out with us. They were definitely not making this easy on us, that was for sure.

Another wall was ahead that we had to make our way over. This one was shorter than the others and I was able to easily pull myself to the top without Dimitri's help. Leaning back down I was able to haul one of the 'humans' up and over the wall. I had only got two others over when some more 'Strigoi' came running towards us on each side of the wall.

"Dimitri, they're coming both sides."

"You take that side. Keep them safe Rose."

I jumped down just in time to pull the three 'humans' behind me. This fight had to be over quickly before anything could happen to the charges I was supposed to be keeping safe.

Using one of the moves that Dimitri had taught me all those years ago, I was able to trip the first one and stake him, effectively 'killing' him, and I moved onto the next one. But while I was distracted with killing the first one he had been able to sneak around me and had almost reached the 'humans' in the corner. I wouldn't be able to reach them in time but I ran as quickly as I could towards them anyway. Just as he made a grab for the person closest to him Dimitri jumped down off the wall, landing on him and knocking him to the ground. The other two 'humans' scrambled over the wall after him.

"Rose, the exit's there. Get them out." He was still fighting the other 'Strigoi' and I wanted to help him but he was right. _They come first_. Even if these weren't Moroi, I still had to get them to safety.

"Come on. Run." I ran behind them pushing them along until we reached the opening that was the exit. Behind me I heard footsteps and I spun thinking that it was another attacker but it was only Dimitri. Together we made it out of the obstacle course.

A loud horn symbolized the end of the trial and I collapsed panting on the ground. That had been the most difficult challenge that the guardians had ever put me through. Alberta came strolling over to us with a clipboard in hand.

"Congratulations. You have beaten the record time for this course. The council is now in discussion over whether the two of you are suitable to work together."

Dimitri nodded and made his way over to the guardians who had pretended to be the humans. Even with the course only being a test he was still in guardian mode, doing the rounds to make sure everyone was ok.

At that moment a door at the back of the gym opened up and in walked Beak Man and the other guardian who had been out on the track with us. I stood as they made their way over to where Dimitri and I were standing.

"The decision has been made." Beak Man announced, "Guardian Belikov, Guardian Hathaway- by order of the Royal Council you are now the official guardians of Princess Vasilisa Dragomir."

**I know it is short again but I couldn't seem to get in the right mindset to write. Because of that I know how dodgy this chapter is but I promise that I will try to improve my writing on the next one but until then please review. Any critique is welcome. A special thanks to my beta Sarah who helped to improve this immensely.**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy or any of its characters, only the plot of this story.**

We were all standing on the airway tarmac waiting until we could finally board the plane. Ever since we had passed the test yesterday I had been dreading this moment. Leaving meant going back to full-time guardian duties- which I didn't mind. It was my new guarding partner that I was having trouble accepting. Since that kiss he was all I could think about. I had always been scared that being together would cause a distraction from my job but it seemed now that all he simply had to do was look at me and I would melt.

Through the bond I could feel Lissa's worry for me. After a little convincing from her, I had told her about what had happened at the challenges. I could tell that she didn't agree with my decision but she was trying to support me. I glanced over at her to see her giving me yet another worried look. I tried to smile reassuringly at her but I could feel that she didn't believe me.

A hand suddenly touching my shoulder made me jump about a foot in the air. I had been concentrating on Lissa so much that I hadn't noticed my surroundings. Again I mentally slapped myself for being so careless. We may have been mostly safe in the security of the Courts but we were about to leave for Lissa and Christian's place where I would have to be on my guard all the time.

I spun around to see Dimitri quickly drawing his hand back, always that guarded look on his face.

"We are about to board the plane." He said his face stoic.

"Ok then." I replied. I wasn't yet ready to see him again and I tried to keep the conversation as short as possible. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this up, but when that time came I would deal with it. But with a quick glance around at those waiting with us I grew confused.

"Wait. What about Tasha? She isn't here yet."

"She is staying behind. The Queen agreed to a trial of Moroi using defensive and offensive magic. She is going to be their teacher."

"Oh, ok then." I was wondering why I hadn't been told about this but decided that Lissa or Christian just hadn't had a chance to talk to me. I made a note to ask Lissa about it when we got back to the house.

"Rose, Guardian Belikov, we are boarding now." Liss yelled from where she was standing by the bottom of the platform.

With a quick glance at Dimitri I quickly made my way over to Lissa and boarded the plane. I made sure to get a seat at the back so that no one would bother me when we were up in the air. I had a feeling it wasn't going to be a fun trip.

...

_A few weeks later_

What had been only a few weeks had felt like months had passed. I was constantly on guard after being told about the Strigoi's plans. It didn't help that a permanent awkwardness had set between Dimitri and me. I would tense up whenever he was near, taking special care in everything I said and did to try and prove that I was moving on with my life. Even if I knew that it was a lie.

A stream of Strigoi attacks had also taken place but- thankfully- there had been no deaths except those of the attackers. The guardians were all on high alert and panic was starting to set in around the Moroi.

I was out doing my rounds of the wards when a car pulled up and out climbed three guardians. My heart sank; I instinctively knew that they were not here to bring good news. The tense atmosphere surrounding them only furthered my suspicions.

"Guardian Hathaway," It was Beak Man again. My antagonism towards him had disappeared and all I cared about was finding out about what had happened.

"Please come inside, Mirov and Kent," he continued on indicating the two guardians beside him "will take over your rounds. Make sure both Belikov and Castille are there too when I come in."

I didn't question what he said; instead I turned and quickly walked into the house. I found Lissa and Christian curled up on the couch watching a movie. Eddie was guarding the door way. They all glanced up at me as I entered the room.

"Rose, what's wrong? What's happened?" Lissa asked worriedly. I didn't reply, simply shaking my head for her to wait. It was only a few minutes later that Beak Man, who was talking on a cellphone walked in followed by Dimitri.

We all waited for Brenton- as I found out his name was- to speak. Finally he hung up the cell phone and turned to us.

"An attack has taken place, this one serious. Prince Badica and his family have been killed. Three Moroi servants and five guardians have also died."

No one spoke; everything was so quiet you could hardly tell anyone was breathing. Lissa suddenly jumped from her seat and ran crying up the stairs. With a quick glance at me Christian quickly followed her up there.

After a moment Dimitri finally spoke up.

"What was the context of the attack?"

"It appears that the Badica's weren't the actual targets of the attack. Their death was simply a way to send a message, a way of getting the guardians attentions it seems."

"Who was their message intended for?" Eddie asked. I didn't have to hear the answer. I already knew the answer.

"Me. I was the target. They are trying to get my attention."

"What?" Eddie asked bewildered. "That's not true. How do you know?"

Brenton interrupted before I had a chance to answer him- though what I would have said, I would never know.

"A letter was left behind. It was addressed to you, Guardian Hathaway." I didn't want to read it. I wanted to curl up in bed and forget about everything. Those people dying had been my fault- maybe not directly but I was the target. It should have been me they were after, not innocent people.

He handed over the note and I slowly opened it. My hands were shaking and I couldn't seem to control them.

_Guardian Hathaway,_

_You are a puzzle and have come to my particular interest. I have been watching you- studying, you could call it. I know how you act, how seriously you take your job as a guardian. I also know that you will blame yourself for the deaths of those from that pathetic family. And you should._

_This is your first warning, we want you to give yourself up and come to us. Leave the protection of the wards and we will find you. If you do not comply my people will become impatient and I will not be able to control their actions- nor will I want to. It is at my command that the Princess has not yet been attacked, but that can be arranged. There are many up to the challenge, after all she is the last Dragomir. It is up to you how the next events unfold, but either way I will have you with me soon enough._

_Sincerely yours,_

_ X_

While I had been reading the letter both Dimitri and Eddie had come up to read it over my shoulder.

"What do you want me to do?" I was already planning how I would leave, but before I did I needed to make sure that Lissa would be safe. I wasn't about to let people die in order to keep myself safe.

"You are to do nothing. Kent and Mirov will be stationed here and another guardian is being sent out as early as tomorrow for added protection. I am here on orders from Guardian Petrov. She feels that you ought to know how serious this is becoming and-"

"Wait, you can't expect me to just... sit here and do nothing. These people _died_ because of me and I am not about to let them get away with this." I had balled up the letter in my fist, not wanting to look at it again.

"They will not be getting away with it. We have guardians investigating the attacks. Do you have any idea who this X person could possibly be?" Brenton questioned. "Think carefully, anyone who had particular interest in you or held a grudge against you?"

"Wait, what's that meant to mean? You think I know who this is? Sorry but I am as clueless as you, which at the moment seems to be saying a lot."

"Rose, calm down." Dimitri said from behind me.

"No, I will not calm down! They are expecting me to sit here twiddling my thumbs, while instead I could be out there helping to find and kill these bastards."

"Hathaway, you are not to leave your post here for anything. Do you understand? That is a direct order from the council. A plan has been decided upon. According to that letter you're holding, they are watching this area, which means they _will_ know the moment you leave. We are hoping that they will become impatient and will be able to be easily drawn out."

"You are not using Rose as bait," Dimitri all but growled. "Come up with another plan because I won't allow it."

"There is no other plan. We have no idea _who_ these people are or how many Strigoi we are dealing with."

"Fine." I interrupted. "I will stay-"

"No _Roza_, I will not allow you or anyone to put yourself in danger."

I ignored Dimitri and continued speaking. "I will agree to your little plan on one condition. Lissa and Christian go back to the Courts. There is too much danger for them being here."

Brenton nodded.

"That has already been arranged. They will be leaving tomorrow with Castille and Belikov to go back to the Courts. There, guardians will be fully equipped to protect the Princess."

"No, I will be staying here." Dimitri said before I could stop him. Eddie had been quiet throughout the whole argument but I could see him agreeing with Dimitri.

"No. Lissa needs protection. I can look after myself against whoever this psycho is." I was looking at mainly Eddie. He was able to understand my need to keep Lissa safe especially after everything that we had experienced together. I wasn't ready to admit it to myself, but a sudden feeling of comfort had filled me when Dimitri had said he wasn't leaving.

Brenton didn't seem to be angered at them wanting to stay but he seemed to settle for the alternative. By all means he wasn't happy with Dimitri- neither was I for that matter- but he was willing to settle on anything that would get the Moroi out of the house and into safety.

He nodded curtly.

"Fine, I will stay tonight and accompany Castille tomorrow."

Before anything else could be said I turned and made my way as quickly as possible up to my room. I didn't want to see anyone. I needed to get myself back under control before going and speaking to Lissa. She wasn't going to like leaving me and I had to appear strong for her.

It seemed that I what I wanted wasn't going to be happening. Behind me I heard the door open but I didn't turn to see who it was. Again I already knew.

"Don't say anything Dimitri. You would be doing the exact same thing if you were in my position. So don't tell me I have to leave. If me staying here is going to have even the smallest chance of helping to kill these sons of bitches then I _will_ do it."

I turned to see him standing directly behind me. I had to tilt my head to look up into his face but I couldn't decipher his expression.

"I know. I know that nothing I can say will change your mind. You're right I would be doing the same thing if I was in your position."

"Then why are you here? Want to make sure I don't run away? Or are you just here to see me upset?" I was being petty, I know. But I needed to take out my anger and frustration on someone and he just happened to be the most convenient.

He ignored my outburst and instead grabbed a hold of my hand. I tried to pull away but he held on tight.

"I came to ask how you were holding up. I know you're blaming yourself just like the letter said and I want to make sure that you are okay."

I stopped tugging and just stood there. My anger at him dissipated and instead I was filled with unbelievable guilt. I was the cause of those people dying. A whole family, Moroi simply doing their jobs and guardians who swore to protect their charges at all costs- the cost having been their lives.

"It _is_ my fault. I don't understand why they are coming after me. What is so interesting about me that would have Strigoi attacking everyone in their path to get at me? I just want it all to stop." And that was when I lost it. Every emotion that I seemed to have pushed aside since Lissa and I discovered the bond seemed to crash upon me all at once. I collapsed, sobs racking my body and quick as lightening Dimitri was able to catch me before I hit the ground. He didn't say anything about yet another loss of my control, he simply held me against his chest while I cried.

**Tell me what you think? Please? **


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